Blond moment #1057

So earlier today, Mamoo informed me that Master J had mentioned that he had seen a swear word on my phone. I assume it was from a text message I had received at some point, most likely from a certain friend (hi Brandy!) Anyway, there's been some issue with a little boy liking to "help" his mom by fetching her phone for her when she gets a text message. Apparently his intent is really to be just a tad bit of a busy body. I don't like him to read my messages though. Not because they are generally so full of interesting new curse words or anything either. Honestly if we're trying to prevent the acquisition of new foul language I'm going to have to go on a speaking hiatus. No, it's really more of a "it's none of your business what my business is" issue. So I got smart. I went into my fancy phone and set it so there's no "preview" of text messages when they come in. I need to go into the little text icon to fetch my message. Aren't I just the brightest little thing? Fast forward several hours. I sent a text to a friend to let her know I hadn't forgotten her. I immediately got back a text from her. When I picked up my phone and looked at the screen, I shook my head and said to Mister C "What the hell? Brandy just sent me a text message and do you know what it says? It just says "text message". What do you think that means?"

To which he replied "That you have a text message you need to go in and read?"

And again I am reminded that Mister C really has front row seats to his own comedy show. He just sits back and waits to see what I'll say next.

Blonde moment

I did all my grocery shopping today for the next two weeks. I've started going to three different stores now. I get my paper products, chemicals & canned type food at a big name box store. I get my produce from Sprouts. Then I get my meat & dairy products at a "regular" grocery store. I hit the box store first, got everything I needed and dropped it off at home. Then I headed over to Sprouts for my produce. The parking looked a little full so I just took the first place I saw and started for the door. I walked in, grabbed a basket and started walking around. The first thing I notice is the Ortega taco shells. I didn't know they were organic. Hmm. Good to know I guess. I continue heading to the back where the produce is. As I walk through, I notice that there is an entire aisle dedicated to soda. What the hell? Boy this place has really changed since he last time I was here. Then I see another aisle that has nothing but Christmas decorations. What is going on? I finally get back to the produce section and it's pitiful. I mean just awful. Individually wrapped peppers and apples and tiny bags of salad. Holy mother has this place gone down hill. I notice a cooler of milk and it seems like the containers are really small so I go to check it out. Yup, only one quart containers. Okay, now I'm really confused. What happened to Sprouts? Were they taken over by someone that is completely clueless or what? In absolute disgust I start heading towards the front of the store to leave and that is when I start noticing all the signs everywhere screaming "EVERYTHING JUST .99 EVERY DAY!!!" And that is when I realize I have walked into the wrong store. I put my basket back, head out the door, turn right and walk 20 feet to the entrance to Sprouts. Just another day in my life.

Blonde strikes again!

My husband's friend (G-Man) came in to town yesterday and spent the night. He's a long distance truck driver and when he gets the opportunity by passing through to visit, he always does, which is nice. Anyway, the discussion came up about the dishwasher being mucked up and he suggested downloading something or other from Maytag to see if he could figure out how it worked. Now, G-Man happens to be pretty mechanically inclined and likes to figure out how things work and I'm totally all about the free labor thing so I say absolutely. Well, while I went to church this morning with Master J (yeah, Hell is actually freezing over as we speak) G-Man and Mister C took the dishwasher apart and found several items in the motor that should not have been there. One thing was the thumb grip thing off a coffee cup, a coffee cup that isn't supposed to be in there in the first place (whatever). There were also several mushy popcorn kernels and other assorted food items that hadn't managed to get into the disposal. But the thing we think was the problem was some sort of plastic thing that nobody could identify. It looked like the thing that you put into the little cardboard people in kids games like Candyland that makes them stand up on the board. Only, I'm pretty sure I haven't washed any game pieces lately. I know I did wash a bunch of army men a few weeks back that had some kind of goo on them that was never identified or admitted to but they all made it out of their Navy Seal training just fine (other than being slightly confused about what branch of the service they were in.) So anyway, after Master J & I got home we were informed the the dishwasher was now working perfectly. It was running all through breakfast and sounded fine. Right as I was finishing up my bacon though, I heard a noise and said to Mister C & G-Man "Hey, what's that gurgling sound the dishwasher's making? Looks like you didn't fix it after all." To which G-Man responded "I think that's your coffee pot finishing up the brew cycle." Oh, yeah. Guess I forgot I started a fresh pot all of ten minutes ago. My poor husband. This is just another instance proving that he keeps me around for the entertainment.