It Was A Dark and Stormy Night...

It's monsoon here in the valley of the sun.  Yay for the monsoon!  So far this week we've had two really nice storms come through and dump a good amount of water on our exceedingly dry, scorched earth.  Although gutters are still a little ways off, I was able to collect about thirty gallons of water just in buckets from yesterday's downpour.  And it was a downpour...

The worst of yesterday's storm occurred in the late evening.  Just in time for me to go over to my parent's house to take care of their two dogs for the last time before they went to bed for the night.  I was hoping for a reprieve from the rain at least long enough to run the dogs out, but I was denied this basic request.  When I pulled up in the driveway, the rain was fairly light.  By the time I walked in the house, locked the door behind myself, got the first dog out and opened the back door it had increased tenfold.

The first dog I took out was Desi, who apparently had a clue last night.  He stepped out into the rain, realized it sucked and hurried up with his business.  We were out there less than a minute.  Good boy Desi!

The second dog was Lucy, who had a different take on the rain.  She stepped out into the rain, looked like she realized it sucked....and then blinked a lot.  She stood there, blinking in the rain, for eternity.  I tried encouraging her to "hurry up!" but she seemed more concerned with running in circles on her leash and blinking.  Five minutes later she finally decided that she should probably take care of business and get out of the rain.  Not so good girl Lucy (frowny face).

With both dogs back inside, I headed out to put my chickens up for the night.  The girls were pretty much sleeping on their roost when I walked out anyway so it was just a matter of shutting them in the coop.  As I was moving the rock that holds the door open a huge flash of lightning lit up the entire area.  And I realized that I was standing in a ten by twenty metal cage that surrounds the largest tree on the property.  And I'm standing in water.  Yay me!

I head back to the house and lock everything up for the night.  At this point I'm pretty wet, but not completely soaked to the skin and all I have to do is get to the Jeep.  Except as I'm locking the front door I realize that it's Tuesday.  And garbage pickup is really early Wednesday morning.  Which means I have to put the garbage and recycling cans out tonight.  The cans that are currently in the backyard.  Ugh! 

I stand there for a second to try and think things through.  Now I realize pretty quickly that the very first thing I need to do is get my gun into the vehicle so I don't accidentally drop it in a mud puddle (not that it would hurt it as it's a revolver, but still).  In case you're wondering why I feel the need to carry a weapon to my parent's house, I've been taking it with me on the last run over at night because my folks live out where there is open desert backing to their property.  At night is when the predators come out and for sure we know there are coyotes and bobcats out there.  I've heard and seen the coyotes myself and at least one of the close neighbors has had a bobcat attack her dog on the back patio.  And lets face it, if I get confronted by some wild animal I am 100% sure that neither of those dogs is going to defend me.  A best case scenario is if I can hang on to the leash long enough to get dragged back to the house as they're running in fear.  So anyway, the gun needs to get to the dry interior of the Jeep before I go about my last task.  And then I need to get the cans from the backyard to the street.  Well, nothing to do except start I guess...

I push the unlock button and run to the driveway.  Toss my gun into the passenger seat and slam the door shut.  Then I really start moving.  From where I'm at, it's about forty feet to the back gate, it doesn't take long to get there but once I do, the latch decides this is a fantastic time to get clingy.  It takes me more than few seconds to get the gate open.  After it finally gives in, I fling the gate open but before I can get the cans, I must remove the barricade that my dad has put there to keep the rabbits out of his yard.  With a clear path finally available, I grab the first can, drag it through the gate and then leave it a few feet beyond.  I repeat the procedure with the second can.  After I have both cans out, I shut the gate, grab one can's handle in each hand and start moving towards the street.

By this time the rain is coming down in torrents, I can barely see five feet in front of me.  And the street is at least 100 feet away.  So I start running as fast as I can.  Which, considering I'm wearing a pair of Tevas, dragging two huge garbage cans and sliding around in the water, isn't very fast.  And then I hit the end of the driveway.  Did I mention that my folk's driveway ends?  It does.  Rather abruptly when you can't see I might add.  So then I'm not so much running as scrambling through the muddy mess in my Tevas, dragging my now even more cumbersome huge garbage cans whose wheels apparently don't like mud at all.  And I still can't see.  And the rain is actually coming down harder.

Eventually I find what I believe to be "close enough" that the garbage trucks can pick up in the morning.  But I can't just drop the cans and run, because they are backwards to the street.  They need to face the street in order to get emptied.  I grab the garbage can first and by half dragging, half rolling it I am able to get it somewhat pointing in the correct direction.  But now it's too far back from the road.  So I tilt it back on it's wheels in order to push it forward.  And that's when  gust of wind comes up and lifts the lid, rather rapidly, and slams it directly into my face.  I have to say here that while my reaction time is generally pretty good, it slows substantially when the same wind that blew the lid into my face is busy holding it there.  It was a good ten seconds before I could peel that stupid lid off my face and force it down onto the can where it belonged.  Thankfully the recycling can didn't give me as much trouble and I'm soon on my way back to the driveway and the relative comfort of my Jeep.

By the time I get there I am soaked completely to the skin.  My hair is completely drenched and hanging in my face.  My jeans and shirt are stuck to me like glue.  And I'm having trouble seeing because my eyebrows and lashes have five gallons of water each in them that's now streaming into my eyes.  Oh and the window is fogging over.  Perfect.

So I blast the heat (yeah, it's August in Phoenix, it's all good) and head home.  I would really like to drive faster than ten miles an hour but unfortunately the roads suck big time.  The dirt and gravel roads are like a mud bog, but the paved roads are actually worse because there are huge puddles across most of them.  At first I was like "Hell, I drive a Jeep!  Jeeps are meant to drive through puddles!  Screw you puddles, I'm driving a Jeep!"  This was quickly followed by "What the hell?  I can't see a damn thing when the water comes crashing over my windshield!"  So yeah, that worked out well.  Ten miles an hour it is.  Eventually I arrived home, dripping wet and looking like a drowned rat.  I give Mister C credit for holding it together when he got a look at me.  But I don't kid myself, I could totally see the grin he was holding back and the gleam in his eyes. 

So that's the story of the monsoon in Arizona.  And it's supposed to rain again tonight and tomorrow again as well.  Hopefully not until after I get home from taking care of the dogs.  But that would require some sort of good luck that I seem to be lacking in.

Drunken Kangaroo...

I knew I shouldn't have said anything about the divers...

Ouch

Olympics 2012

I am sadly unappreciative of the Olympics lately.  Not the athletes, they are awesome.  Not the venue, London did itself proud with that one.  No, what I am so disappointed in is the coverage.  Specifically the time delayed, Americanized media coverage.

So the first thing is obviously the time delay issue.  I fricken HATE the time delay.  Why?  Because it means that I can't watch the news, read a newspaper, look at the computer or talk with anyone without fear of hearing the results of some event that I haven't yet watched.  So recognizing that time moves on and technology improves, there was something to be said for only being able to watch the events as they happen.  As far as I'm concerned, it showed your dedication to a specific sport.  Like the discus throw but they're competing at 3:00 am your time?  Suck it up and take at nap earlier in the day so you don't miss anything. 

The second issue also relates to the time delay...let's call it half arsed coverage.  If it's live, you get the whole shebang.  From the worst competitor to the best, you got to watch all of it.  How cool would it have been to be just as surprised as the rest of the world to be watching the women's gymnastics at the 1972 Munich Olympics and watch Olga Korbut do her famous back flip off the high bar?  I'll wait while you google that little gem...done yet?  How cool was that?  Anyway, there was none of this bs of only seeing the top three or four competitors.  I want to see all the dives of all the divers of all the countries.  Don't just show me China and their scarily perfect dives.  I want to see the guy that looks like a drunken kangaroo going off the board as well.  Because how can I judge how fantastic the winner is if I can't see who all of their competition is?

Which leads us to all the competition...why are there so many damned sports in the Olympics these days?  Is badminton even a sport?  How about handball?  Really?  And don't get me started on the heated ping pong competition.  But seriously, the absolute worst has to be the slalom canoeing.  What the hell is wrong with you people?  And as a side note, it only makes it worse when you find out that the badminton teams are deliberately trying to lose in the preliminaries so they can get matched with an inferior team for the finals.  Here's a hint: there's not that much glory in winning gold in badminton in the first place, don't make it worse by cheating.  I know, it's devastating to hear that, but it's the truth and someone had to tell you. 

And finally, how about those life stories?  Can we wring anymore emotive dances out of these broadcasters?  Sob stories, tragic lives leading down the path to Olympic glory, poor kids making good.  Don't get me wrong, I think each of these athletes has greatness in them, proven by the fact they are at the Olympics in the first place.  But I don't need to know every detail of their lives.  I don't want to hear five minutes of what they've overcome to watch them swim a two minute race.  Seriously, I don't care, I just want to see them compete.  And over-sharing mom of fantastic swimmer?  Please, stop.  Just stop. 

Stupid Time Waster That Made Me Smile

So this is apparently a "thing" to do on at least one site out there.  Here's the rules:

1.)  Go to Wikipedia and chose "Random Article".  Whatever comes up is your new band's name.

2.)  Go to Wikiquotes and chose "Random Article".  Pick a quote from the article and use the last 5-8 words as the title to your new album.

3.)  Go to flickr and go to the "Last 7 Days Interesting".  The fifth picture is your album cover art.

Here's the results for my new (imaginary) band, Laigin, and our groundbreaking album "Method of the Nuclear Bombardment". 

Kind of makes you want to bang your head, huh?  In a good way of course.

Jeep Diet, Update

Hey all.  Well, it's been about two months since I announced I was going on the Jeep Diet, and it's been six weeks since I started it in earnest. 

The first few weeks I spent logging everything I ate, but not changing anything*.  I did this to get a grip on what I was actually consuming on a daily basis so I could understand better what I needed to change.  As expected, my daily calorie intake wasn't substantially huge.  But my fat and sodium were higher than I'd like and my protein was sort of low.  Additionally, the number of minutes I was averaging daily with exercise was pretty pathetic.  It's not that I never exercised, just that I did it so inconsistently that the workouts I did were reduced in efficiency by the number of days in between them. 

In May, specifically on May 5th, I started in earnest trying to change my diet and exercise.  I started going to the gym or working out at home more consistently.  I made better choices in what I was eating.  I didn't give up any one particular or group of foods.  I just made a different choice sometimes (and greatly reduced the "white group" as previously discussed here ).  I continued to keep track of all of my numbers just to see what would happen.  At the end of May, I calculated out the average daily numbers for both April and May.

Here's how they looked in April (4/17-4/30):

Calories:  1634
Carbs:  147
Fat:  78
Protein:  81
Sodium:  2081
Exercise:  11 mins

Here's how they looked in May:

Calories:  1449
Carbs:  169
Fat:  51
Protein:  88
Sodium:  1560
Exercise:  24 mins

Obviously the average calories consumed didn't drop that much, but the fat was cut by 35% and the sodium by 25%.  Exercise was easily doubled.  The result so far is that I've lost ten pounds.

Here's how it looks so far in June (6/1-6/15):

Calories:  1452
Carbs:  150
Fat:  59
Protein:  81
Sodium:  1615
Exercise:  41 mins

So, looking at my numbers so far for June, I can see that while I'm doing fine on my calories, the fat is creeping up, as is the sodium.  It's not by much, but I think I need to adjust it right now in order to stay where I want to be.  The increased exercise is a good thing.  I'd like to see it hit a solid 45 minutes daily but since it's already almost quadrupled from April, I won't complain too loudly.  And while I know it will get harder as I get closer to my goal, I think with a few minor tweaks I will continue making progress.

*Keep in mind that while I wasn't making better choices consciously, I do believe that the mere act of writing down what I eat makes me subconsciously better behaved so my best guess is that the numbers are slightly skewed to the good.

Back to Her Roots

Mister C and I purchased a half a cow from a local rancher at the end of last month.  We're really trying to eat better, healthier food and since removing beef from the menu isn't going to happen, we figured that free range cattle is the next best thing.  No hormones, no antibiotics and no gmo grain in our food has to be an improvement.  We ordered it in March and our beef was ready to be picked up last Friday.  One of the bonuses of getting beef through this particular ranch is that they also have on hand a bunch of beef bones that they will give you if you ask.  Some people use them for soup and such, some people get them for their dogs.  We picked up a few to give to the girls.  Fast forward to this morning.

I was still sleeping when I heard a fight break out in the back yard.  By the time I rolled out and headed towards it, the ruckus was ended.  So I stopped at the coffee pot before heading out to the patio.  When I got there, Mister C was sitting in his chair drinking his coffee, Nora was pacing around with a bone in her mouth and Izzy was in the grass with hers.  Apparently the ruckus was because Nora decided it wasn't good enough to have the bone she had been given, she wanted Izzy's as well.  And that didn't go over real well.  What ended up happening was that Nora got Izzy's bone, which was about half the size of hers, and Izzy got the bigger bone.  So yeah, good planning there Nora.  Further, she didn't really seem to know what to do with the bone she had.  So she paced.

She walked around with the bone in her mouth, looking at Izzy, looking at us, pacing some more.  She wouldn't lay down and chew it, she just paced.  Eventually she disappeared around the side of the house where, we assumed, she was chewing the bone in peace, out of sight of Izzy.  Turns out she was actually burying it in Master J's sandbox.  Yet another good plan Nora.  Mister C dug it up, washed it off and put it back in the fridge.  Evidently Nora is way too domesticated to figure out to eat the meal that's currently available.

But Izzy, oh Izzy, you insane little feral beast.  Izzy gnawed the hell out of that bone.  Now keeping in mind that this bone is actually some kind of large joint from a cow, it was almost as big as her head.  But that did not stop her nor slow her down in the least.  We sat watching in disbelief as that little dog tore that bone up.  It was like watching a wild African dog in action.  National Geographic in our own back yard.  She gnawed.  She chewed.  She ripped off chunks.  She never used her paws, just her jaws.  And she ate the whole damn thing.  In under thirty minutes.  And when I say "she ate it" I mean there was not one scrap left of that bone.  And then she went looking for the one she knew Nora had buried.  Obviously this is a dog that can fend for herself if need be.  One that would survive the zombie apocalypse with us.

I would say she made us proud.  I would, but then I sat there and thought about the fact that my dog just reverted back to her wild ancestors and ate a large cow bone without much trouble.  And I started thinking that maybe I should be extra careful not to become maimed within range of her.  At least not unless I have a weapon close at hand.  My suspicion is that she might conveniently "forget" where the majority of her meals have come from recently.

Why I don't have a Twitter account

I've thought recently about starting up a Twitter account but decided it probably isn't for me. Mostly I just want to be able to read the tweets of some people out there who regularly tweet something amusing and as far as I can tell I can't follow their feed without my own account. I suspect if I had an account it would be filled with the following:

First cup of coffee of the day, thank god for caffeine.

Hubby removed the ads from my newspaper, now I can't read it at all. Fairly convinced the stories have all been compromised.

More coffee.

Dog just threw up rocks on the carpet. Again.

Third cup of coffee, finally starting to feel human.

If a terrorist ever tries disguising themselves as a suburban mom with a stroller, our dogs have us covered. Shut up already you idiots!

Where are my shoes?

Dropping the child off at school shouldn't be a contact sport. Just sayin'.

Blech! Mouthful of cold coffee!

No seriously, where are my shoes?

Deli ladies know me by name but still can't remember that I never want a sample. Thanks but I'm pretending that I eat nothing but health food while out in public.

Favorite part of the day, hanging out on the patio with my coffee. Ahhhhh! Blissful peace!

Huh, it's 4:00 and I forgot to thaw something for dinner. Again.

Who left the coffee pot with a tablespoon of coffee and some grounds in it? The hell?

Child is in bed and hubby is sleeping in his chair. Must be 8:00 pm.

9:00 pm. Time for one more cup of coffee and then setting up the coffee-maker to run first thing in the morning.

It's 2:30 in the morning and I've determined that I need to quit drinking so much coffee all day.

New Years Day 2012

Can you believe 2011 is done and over with already? It's crazy how fast that went. I think I did stuff, I really don't remember all that much right now though. On the bright side, I think I've started out the year on a good note. My "Ta-Da!" list has a few things on it today, not the least of which is finally painting my bedroom.

I painted the ceiling in our bedroom almost a year ago. For at least ten months now we've had a very pretty ceiling next to walls that have an inch of ceiling paint along the top edge (I don't tape off anything) as well as approximately fifteen white patches of various size where I repaired holes from the previous owners. That's in addition to the very large patch where Mister C did some sort of wiring work around the same time as I originally painted the ceiling. That one was about two feet by three feet and situated directly across from the foot of our bed. So I could see it every morning as soon as I got out of bed. I think it will be nice to not wake up to that tomorrow. There wasn't a whole lot else going on today as the painting took up a good five hours of my day, not including the set up and clean up time.

Now, since I haven't been on here in a few days I never updated you on the great mallet incident of late 2011. Let me weave you a tale, a tale of pain and horror that will leave you speechless, unlike I was.

So on Friday Mister C and I were putting the chicken wire around our raised gardens. We didn't need to do this to keep the chickens out, although it will make that easier. No, we had to do that because our idiotic dog likes to dig. And bite strawberry plants off at the base. What dog does that? Just bites a strawberry plant off and eats it? That's not even normal. But anyway, in order to preserve the plants that survived her latest attack, we went ahead and put the wire around the gardens. As part of the project, we also wanted to put chicken wire around our back garden where the raspberry, blackberry and blueberry plants are. That is keep the chickens out because they keep going after my blueberry plants. I'm sure that as soon as the raspberry and blackberries start growing, they'll be after them too.

Mister C bought a bunch of wooden stakes to hold the chicken wire in the back garden. They'll also come in handy for brain pokes via the eye (yuck!) when the zombie apocalypse starts. But I digress. Where was I? Ah yes, wooden stakes, which needed to be put in the ground. Mister C put the first three stakes in using a standard hammer to pound them into our hard, calichi soil. Then he got distracted by having to make a run back to Home Depot for something or another and left the work to me.

Now, I know myself and I know that grace is not my middle name. Neither is accuracy. So I know that there is no way I'm going to attempt using a standard hammer to hit a one by one inch square of wood. Especially not repeatedly. So I came up with the great idea to use a rubber mallet in place of the hammer that Mister C had used. After all, I figured that with a larger hitting implement I would certainly stand a better chance of hitting the target. Additionally, if I did happen to miss the stake and hit myself, rubber has to hurt less than metal.

So with my completely logical choice of tool in hand, I head out to start the wooden stake project. And it goes really well. I was absolutely correct in my assessment of how the mallet would work and I have no problem getting the first nine stakes put in. At least as far as accuracy. Each stake takes between fifteen and twenty hits to get it into the ground to the right depth and it's definitely tiring to be swinging the mallet over and over again. With only two stakes left to install I was feeling pretty good about my getting done before Mister C got home from his shopping excursion. And that is when disaster struck.

I had hit the next to the last stake enough times that it was standing unaided, although I was still holding it for each hit to prevent any problems. I could feel that my arm was getting tired but I valiantly swung the mallet in a large arc towards the not so large target. Only I didn't hit the target. To be honest, I didn't even touch the target. No, I swung that mallet around with all my strength, directly onto the back of my left hand. And since I was hanging on to the stake with my left hand, it didn't even move when the mallet hit it. It just took the full brunt force of that swinging mallet and stopped it cold. The pain was instantaneous and intense. As was my language.

Once the air cleared and I could actually looked at my hand, I was amazed at how quickly a lump was forming. Within about thirty seconds, I had a grape sized lump growing up out of my hand and it was only getting bigger. To make it worse, the pain was radiating from the point of impact (which was about an inch directly below the knuckle of my pointer finger) up into my finger as well as into my thumb. Over the next thirty minutes or so the swelling got less grape-like and more spread out until it covered about half of the back of my hand. I decided at that point that I was done working for the day.

Today, two full days later, the swelling is down but still covering a full third of my hand. There's still a very hard lump the size of a grape at the point of impact, and the whole thing has a blueish tinge to it. The bruising goes above the knuckle as well. And it still hurts if I touch it. Also, note to self...hard rubber being swung at full speed hurts like hell. I'm almost sure it doesn't hurt any less than the metal hammer would have. As far as I can tell the difference was that the mallet spread the pain over a larger area.

So, overall, a tough end to 2011 and a good start to 2012. Hopefully things will continue to improve from here.

Happy New Year's Day!

Ta-Da!

I'm waiting for delivery of one more item for Mister C, but otherwise, I've been done with my Christmas preparations for a few days now. Lucky for me, Mamoo has graciously offered to have the family celebration at her house this year so I don't even have to worry about cooking. So the next few days are panning out to be somewhat relaxing. We are flying up to Fargo on Saturday to spend a few days with Mister C's side of the family but I'm not even really concerned about that because those gifts got wrapped and sent almost two weeks ago. Woo-hoo! Look at me go! Which brings me to the title of this post.

So for years I've had a love/hate relationship with to-do lists. On the one hand I think they serve a purpose in keeping me on track with what needs to get done. On the other hand, I struggle with the whole negative side of seeing everything I didn't get done still sitting on the list, taunting me. Telling me I'm such a loser because look, I can't even wrap up a list of things to do. I'm not as bad as SOME people (cough*Mister C*cough) that used to rewrite their list every night, removing the things they had done. I think that's ten times more negative than having a list with at least some things crossed off. To wake up every day with a long list of shit to do, I'm just not wired that way.

So I decided I needed a new way of doing things. And thus was born the "Ta-Da List". Instead of a list of things I need to do, I only jot down the things I actually did today. It's really quite simple and so much more positive. I wake up to a blank sheet of (iPhone notes) paper and I get to fill it with things as I accomplish them. At the end of day, instead of a crossed out sheet of paper (or worse, a brand new list of things to do) I can look over my list and see what I accomplished. The genius of this method is that I want to fill the blank page. So if I've gone a ways through my day and it's looking a little sparse, I actively look for something to do. There's always something that could use cleaning or doing around here.

So, is everything on my Ta-Da List a huge accomplishment? Nope. And that's okay. Because not everything on a traditional to-do list is either. And sometimes you just need to take credit for doing something, even if it was totally simple. So, sent out all of the Christmas cards? Ta-Da! Wiped out the microwave and took out the composting? Ta-Da! Dropped off books and videos to two different libaries? Ta-Da! (And I didn't even have to get out of the car for that one.) Wrote a post about my new Ta-Da List? Ta. Da.

Today's Accomplishment

Did I tell you that we hired out the painting of the pergola that Mister C built? My original plan was to paint the parts before the guys built it. The thought process being that once it was all together, it would be easy to just touch up the spots where needed and I wouldn't have to figure out how to crawl all over the structure. That was the plan. You know how well those go.

The main problem to working out the plan was that Mister C never actually purchased the parts until the day they built the pergola. Obviously I wasn't going to get away with having everyone wait around while I painted everything so it got built with the raw wood.

At the end of the very long weekend I looked at that pergola and and I thought "There is no way in hell I'm painting that thing!" I mean seriously, I had zero desire to figure out how to paint the top side of the lattice pieces with a brush. Realizing that his painter was rebelling, Mister C made the (only viable) decision to hire out the painting.

I did try to call Mark, the guy that painted our house a year ago. Mark was a neighbor that had a painting business and we'd seen plenty of his work in our neighborhood. He did an awesome job for what I would consider a really good price. He ended up short selling his house not long after he finished painting our house and moved to the other side of town. But I still had his number and I thought that surely I could have him come back to do this project. But unfortunately his number now goes to a message that says it's no longer in service. Sigh.

So I asked around and got the name of another painter, George. I called him and he said he could come out in a few days to give me a quote. The very next day he rang my bell and introduced himself. I figured, wow, this guy is on the ball!

The first thing he said was that he couldn't do the job for less than $500. Which seemed a tad high for the amount of work he would be doing. More so because Mark had done the entire house for about four times that amount. But I understand, he needs to keep his guys working and he has to pay them a certain amount. So fine, I tell him to send them out and get it done.

Fast forward a few days.

Now it's Friday afternoon, around 2:00, and suddenly there are four guys standing on my front porch. Sadly, only one of them speaks (minimal) English so the entire conversation consists of singular words and pointing. Awesome. Oh and here's a side note that I know from previous experience: Don't ever let workers start a project on Friday afternoon. Why? Because all they really care about is getting to Friday night and their favorite beer. And the only thing between them and that Friday night beer is your project. Which they will rush through and cut corners on. Seriously. I've had enough guys do piss-poor work on Fridays that I should know better than to even let them start. But they are here and they have paint and I think "Surely it will be different this time..."

It is not different this time (nor will it ever be.)

They come to the front door less than an hour later and announce (in singular words and with gestures) that they are done. And I need to go check out their fantastic job so they can go. So I send Mister C out to do so. And he is forced to point out to them that they have missed several areas.

Fifteen minutes later they are back at my front door. Mister C is now on the phone so I am the one to go out and check their work so they can be released to their beer. I go out, look at the area where Mister C had previously pointed to problems and it looks good (or at least somewhat painted.) Then I drag the guy's ladder over so I can see what the top looks like. The painter looks a little panicked at that but at least he holds the ladder. I get to the top and realize he hasn't painted the top of the trim board. At all. Not one lick of primer or paint. Oh, did I not mention that they were supposed to both prime and paint this structure? Yeah, that comes back up later. Anyway, I climb down from the ladder and the painter goes back up to paint the top of the trim board.

Five minutes later he's at my door again. Something strikes me as wrong but I can't pinpoint what it is so I head back outside to see what he's done. I see that he has "accidentally" taken the ladder to his truck. I mention that I need to get my ladder to see the top and he laughs about his "mistake" and goes to get his ladder. I climb back up top and see that there's paint on the top of the board. Yay! It looks like they finally get those beers after all. We give them the check and send them on their way.

At some point in the middle of the night I wake up and realize what was bothering me about the trim board with the missing paint. When I noticed it, I was looking at raw wood. And he was at my door within five minutes. Which means there's no way in hell he primed the board before painting it. Which means there's no way in hell he primed any of it. Grrrr!

The next morning I have Mister C get out our ladder and I go up to view the top of the pergola from different angles. From the front side (where I was the day before) it looks okay. But from the other side, it's very obvious that they only sprayed from the front side and didn't do it from all angles. And it also very obvious that I'm looking at bare wood, so no primer was used at all. Which really pisses me off.

I get that my little piddly pergola painting job isn't a high end money maker for anyone. But I already overpaid for it in the first place, why eff it up and go cheap on it? Why cut corners and do a half-ass job? Why piss me off? As a homeowner there's always a ton of little things that need to be done, chief among them are painting projects. House exteriors in Arizona are generally repainted every five to ten years. But beyond that, I have neighbors that I talk to, friends, family members. And most importantly, I'm a Realtor, I have clients and I know a ton of other Realtors who are always looking for good references. All of whom could have gotten a glowing review from me of your company's work. Conceivably hundreds of potential clients for your painting company now didn't get your name because you screwed up. Because you hired some guys that probably aren't really painters at all but just the guys you could hire for the least amount of money. Maybe they're really plumbers or electricians or veterinarians (not joking about that one, I had a client from Ecuador that was a licensed vet at home that worked for the local garbage company.) Whatever they are or were, they weren't painters.

After I got done yipping to Mister C about the shoddy work, he went ahead and called and left a message for George to complain. In his defense, George did call back immediately and promise to make it right. He insisted that there was primer used, just that he had it tinted to match the paint color. Which, I call bullshit on because I know the difference between raw wood and wood that has been painted but whatever, he says he's going to make it right so I'm good.

And he does send that same crew back out the next day. And they do whatever it is they do for at least thirty minutes. And when I check it out, it looks like they've at least got paint on anything. At this point, that's about all I'm looking for. So I send the painter on his way. And today, I went out and painted the end of one board that they completely missed, and repainted the trim boards. Because at this point I just wanted it done and done right.

And I will never recommend George's company to anyone as long as I live. And if anyone asks about his company I will tell them to avoid him like the plague. And if I have nobody else to recommend for them, I will at least tell them to make sure their project doesn't get started on a Friday afternoon.

And So It Begins

The annual holiday begging has started on Craigslist. It seems excessively early this year, but maybe they're paying more attention to the stores than to the calendar and figure it's time. There are always people asking for free items on Craigslist, but the numbers increase the closer we get to Christmas.

For the record, I have nothing against helping someone in need. I've given away my fair share of food, clothing, gifts and money to various charities, food pantries, churches and individuals. I'm not talking about the people who are truly in need. I'm not talking about people that find themselves in dire straights due to job loss or some such. No, I'm referring to the people who make a living off the charity of others. And those who up the ante around the holidays to prey on people trying to generous.

Exhibit 1:

Free Motorcycle Wanted! (El Mirage)
Date: 2011-10-10, 11:25AM MST

Hi, I know this sounds crazy, but I need to cut down gas costs. I currently am spending over 300 a month on gas and can't afford it anymore. I am a single mom, working full time, and going to school. I need a fully working motorcycle that will get me to work and back. I can't afford payments, obviously, and don't have money saved up to buy one. I had one previously, but due to a divorce and a near bankruptcy, my parents bought it and my dad is trying to fix it up for himself. Between the insurance and gas money on that, I believe I will be able to save around $100 a month, and that is a wonderful thing for someone who has absolutely ZERO left over every month! PLEASE HELP! I know I am asking for a miracle, but I am praying that God will provide me with it! Please e-mail me at the e-mail address provided by craigslist or text me.

Thank you and God Bless!
xxx-xxx-xxxx

Cassie


While I appreciate the logic of trying to save money on gas by getting a bike, it seems like the high price of gas is the least of your problems. I'm fairly sure that God does not in fact supply free motorcycles. Especially not ones that are "fully working". Also, nice dad you got there.

Exhibit 2:

I CANT AFFORD A CHRISTMAS TREE THIS YR PLS HELP (S PHX)
Date: 2011-11-12, 6:30PM MST

I NEED A 6 FOOT TREE PLS HELP


Ummm, maybe forgo the tree this year? Do you still have a string of lights from previous years? Because I've made a tree shape out of lights on the wall before and then taped paper ornaments inside the outline. It actually looked pretty cool and it didn't cost me anything. It should be noted that this particular lister has been putting various versions of this same ad up since mid-October.

Exhibit 3:

I need furniture beds,couches,tv etc - $20 (phx)
Date: 2011-11-13, 4:14PM MST

is anyone giving away any beds couches tvs household items. im in need of donations I do not have anything in my apartment, I do have a little cash maybe like 20 if anyone haz a heart please can u help this mom out call me xxx xxx xxxx


Okay, pulling the mom card is almost understandable, trying to guilt us by suggesting that if we don't give to you we must not "haz a heart" is less so. Asking for beds is acceptable, asking for tvs not so much. Also, Craigslist really doesn't limit the number of characters you use so you can actually spell out all of your words. And don't get me started on the lack of capitalization and random punctuation.

Exhibit 4:

Piano (PHX)
Date: 2011-11-12, 10:02AM MST

If anyone has a piano they would like to give away I would gladly take it. I can hire someone to move it, so you don't have to worry about damage to your home.


Wow, that's so nice that you'll hire someone to remove it from my home. I guess I should be grateful you didn't ask me to deliver it. But seriously, are there that many people giving away pianos these days?

I'm sure the number of ads and the feeling of desperation conveyed will increase exponentially with each week closer to Christmas we get. The week before Christmas will invariably be filled with people angrily complaining about all of the "grinches" in this town that must want the kids to suffer with no Christmas presents under the tree, blah, blah, blah. I'm not heartless, I just find it interesting how many people out there think that everyone one else should supply their houseful of furniture and holiday cheer.

Picture heavy update post...

So I hope your Halloween was happy in a scary, creepy sort of way. I'm becoming more entranced with the holiday every year, it's becoming my favorite holiday. It's not as commercialized as Christmas has become which is a huge thing. I love Christmas, totally love going to the service and seeing the birth of Jesus played out by the kids, but the rest of it is hugely corporate. Halloween is cheaper...a few bags of candy, maybe a new costume if Master J has grown a bunch, pizza for dinner. The house decorations take less than two hours to put up and take down. And I never have to cook on Halloween (see dinner plans above). Plus there's zero family/holiday related stress because really, how much stress can there be to show up any time before dark and eat pizza? So anyway, I enjoyed it immensely and so did Master J. We have way too much candy leftover however so I'm going to be donating it. Southwest Ambulance is doing a collection for the troops this Thursday in our area. I just need to bag it up and write a letter to accompany it and they'll take care of the rest.

Anyway, here's a couple of pictures of my pumpkins this year. And no, the pumpkin on the right does not say "MOM", it's supposed to say "NOM" as in "Om, nom, nom!" but evidently I carve words as well as I write them thereby rendering them easily mis-read.





And a chicken update. The Flockers are doing well, eating everything in sight and growing quickly. I let them out in the morning for at least an hour to scrounge around in the yard. Then in the evening, before dusk, I let them out again so they can stretch their wings and eat bugs. For the last week, my barred rock hen has decided that I'm her new roost. As dusk falls and the other five girls head to the coop, Rocky comes over to where I'm sitting, hops up on my lap and cleans her feathers for a few minutes before settling in. I always end up having to carry her to the coop once I'm ready to go in for the night. I have no idea why she does this, it's just yet another abnormal animal in my horde.



And since this is an update post, I'll post a few recently printed pictures from my class.

Here's The Antagonizer doing her very best impersonation of a baboon...



I know right? Crazy awesome impersonator that cat. The picture was taken through the screen, I was on the patio at the time.

And here's Miss Lee and Music Man's miniature Dachshund, the ever adorable Lola...



I think that's about all that's new for today. I'll try to post more regularly since I seemed to fall of the planet periodically through October.

Another Update Post

I can't believe I haven't posted anything in a week. What on earth have I been doing with my time? Well, we won't count today where I spent a good portion of my day looking up and watching Tim Hawkins videos and laughing my backside off. But mostly, I've been playing catch-up with life.

For instance, I finally got around to moving some plants into new pots this week. The pots we had all of our plants in had been falling apart for some time. They were those clay pots that apparently get weakened every time you water your plants. This starts by just leaving a little rust colored ring under the pot. It escalates to where little pieces are flaking off the pot. And it eventually ends up where large chunks are breaking off. So several weeks ago Mister C and I hit the home repair store and picked up some nice, environmentally unsound, fiberglass pots in colors not found in nature. We also bought some new soil in large bags that would tear open if I so much as looked at them. That weakness lasted right up to when I wanted to actually open them and get at the dirt, then the plastic would rebind itself and be nearly impossible to tear open. Anyway, two days of work later and I had moved all my previously potted plants to their new homes as well as moving the gladiolas and remaining calla lilies out of the garden that will soon be used for vegetables.

Mister C and I also finally got around to attending class to get our CCW license. This past Saturday we had Mamoo watch Master J while we spent five hours learning the rules and laws and practicing on the range. Which, by the way, was quite interesting. Because a few of the guys were pretty cocky when they got out there, until our instructor singled them out for their transgressions. Not to worry, he got after me as well, but at least I admit I'm no professional. But, there was a gal out there that was not in our class but was on the range with us that made me smile widely. We went up to shoot in groups of five and since there were eighteen of us in the class, there were four different relays. This lady was number six in each relay.

When we first got to the range I noticed this older gal up speaking with the instructor. She looked to be in her late sixties, maybe early seventies and probably eighty pounds soaking wet. Her dyed blond hair was piled on top of her head in a loose bun. She had red lacquered fingernails, full makeup and cat's eye sunglasses on. She was carrying a large, straw bag with her wallet, bottled water and whatever else it was she needed. Which in this case was her not so dainty weapon. Now, I don't know enough about guns to be able to identify what kind it was, I just know it was comparable in size and look to the one Mister C was using, which if I recall correctly is a 9mm glock. And man could this gal shoot. Since she was a part of each relay, she ended up firing sixty rounds. And I'm not joking when I tell you that not one of those rounds went anywhere except within one of the three target areas. Not one. Maybe she's a natural, although I'm sure she practices regularly to get that good. But however she does it, she was awesome to watch. She would be in a perfect stance, snapping her gum, he would blow the whistle, she would aim and fire. And it would be perfect. Man I love old ladies like this one!

The flockers are doing well. They're growing daily and feathering out nicely. They also have learned that when I greet them with "Hi girls, you want a snack?" there will be good stuff involved and so they come right over. While I don't think they'll ever be "pets", I do think good planning on my part will make removing their eggs a lot easier later I have no desire to have to fight my girls so I'd rather socialize them now while they're still babies.

Here's four of them in the snack bowl this morning.



My photography class has been really cool. I love the actual creation of pictures, it is amazing. I forgot my negatives at home the other night so I didn't get the chance to print out any pictures but hopefully I'll be able to do something tonight that I can post next time.

Finally, Mister C and I are taking an organic gardening class, which will be followed by a container gardening class. There's a ton of information to learn for us, and it's being presented pretty fast and furious. Hopefully between the two of us we'll get everything we need to get moving on our gardens.

I think that about wraps it up. Lots of stuff going on as well as lots of learning. So, it's all good.

September already?

So yeah, I've been out of touch with my blog for several weeks now. It's not that I didn't want to update, and really it's not that I haven't had time, it's just I haven't been motivated to do anything with it. I'm sorry. That's just pathetic. I know. So, I'm regrouping. I'm starting over. In more ways than one.

So real estate kind of sucks right now. I haven't been happy in it for awhile now and I think I've finally hit my personal wall as far as how much more I'm willing to do. I'll be honest, I'm not the best agent around. I don't advertise. I don't try to find and follow leads every day (or any day truthfully). I don't call on past clients to see if they have any "real estate needs" or if their friends and family do. And I don't push buyers into buying a house just so I can close a deal. In the past two weeks, I went from having one offer in escrow, one client writing offers and one that was coming in to town ready to really buy this time (I swear), to no offers in escrow, one buyer that wants me to write offers at eighty three percent of list price (seriously? WTH?) and my out of town buyers back out of town without offering on anything. So I think I'm done.

I've had it with some other agents having an attitude of arrogance. I called a listing agent about a house two days ago because I was out showing to a client and could not find the property. Literally, his directions led me to a house that was not for sale. So I called. He said (and I am quoting verbatim here) "I don't know what mls you're using because the directions are fine. Plenty of other agents have been able to find the property." Really? Okay, that's pretty shitty but maybe I am being dumb. So, seeing a guy a few doors down walking out to his truck, I pulled up and asked him if he knew where the house was. Turns out I was in the wrong neighborhood, because the agent's directions were wrong. So I followed the neighbor's directions to the correct neighborhood and showed the house. Then I called the agent back and left him a message. In it I said that the directions were in fact wrong and gave him the correct directions. It was polite. I never heard a word from him, but he did change the mls listing. Idiot.

I've had it with investors who want to make HUGE profits on houses that they've done a minimal amount to. They buy it at auction, slap some paint, granite and new carpet in and list it at twice what they paid. And then try to put a clause in the contract that says the purchase price has to be paid regardless of what the house appraises for. Um, no. I am not going to have my client sign a contract that could potentially screw them out of tens of thousands of dollars. But it gets better, because I'm pretty sure at this point that because I advised my client not to sign that potentially expensive contract, she isn't returning my calls or emails. I think she's upset that she didn't get the house and I'm to blame for trying to protect her interests. Guess I should have allowed her to go ahead and sign away her rights so I could get my commission. See, I told you I'm not a good agent.

Moving on.

I started another photography class last week. This one is a black and white film and digital class. I'm really more interested in the film part but I'll do what's required from the digital side as well. Last night we made pin-hole cameras, took a picture of a vacuum cleaner and developed it. Dude, it was awesome! I can't begin to tell you the feeling of dropping what looks to be a blank sheet of paper into a vat of chemicals and watching something develop. It was magical. This is what photography is about, it's incredible. So our assignment before next week is to take a bunch of pictures with our pin-hole cameras so we can develop them in the lab after Labor Day. The one drawback to this type of camera is that it takes time to get the picture so I'm fairly sure I won't be able to get any photos of my dogs or anything animated. Hmm, I could probably get any of the cats though. Anyway, I'll give a better description of the camera itself and show the results next week. I'm so excited about this!

I think I'll end on that happy note. Glad to be back, thanks to you that checked in regularly to see if I had anything new, I appreciate your loyalty. All three of you ;)

Vacation - Day 9

No photos today as I never left the house or took out my camera. It's been a pretty low key day overall. Mister C's sister, brother and their spouses came over for an early dinner and to hang out for a little while which was great. I finally got to meet my brother in law and his wife's younger son who turns two in August. He's an absolute doll. He has Down's Syndrome so he's a little behind on the development timeline but he's crawling around really fast and making lots of noises. And he has a totally infectious smile that lights up the room.

On a less than adorable note, apparently a call girl posted my cell phone number as her contact information on the web somewhere because I got five phone calls and two texts in the space of an hour. She must have eventually figured out there was a problem because the calls and texts stopped as suddenly as they started. Looks like someone was trying to earn some quick cash for the weekend. And evidently I'm in the wrong profession because that's the most my phone has ever rang for business, even if it wasn't my business.

Game show time

Alex: Well here we are on the set of Jeopardy and we are ready to start. Mirth, since you lost the last round, we'll let you start this one. Choose a category.

Mirth: Thanks Alex! You don't know how excited I am to be here. I think I'll start off with "Seriously? WTH?" for $100.

Alex: Okay Mirth, here you go...These people tend to cover the entire back side of their vehicles with religious stickers, especially ones saying things like "WWJD?" and "Do unto others"

Mirth: Who are the people most likely to cut me off in the line at school pickup?

Alex: That's right! Mirth, choose again.

Mirth: I'd like "Seriously? WTH?" for $250.

Alex: This large bank has a particularly bad habit of changing their minds at the last moment, causing heartbreak and headache for people trying to buy a home.

Mirth: Who is Bank of America?

Alex: Right again! Go ahead Mirth.

Mirth: I'm going to stick with what's working Alex. I'm going to go with "Seriously? WTH?" for $500.

Alex: Sounds good! Here's the clue...This is the only spot in the yard that has been painstakingly planted with beautiful flowers.

Mirth: Where is my dog most likely to dig?

Alex: Awesome! You're on a roll! Next category!

Mirth: Well, again, I'm just going to stick with what I know Alex. So, "Seriously? WTH?" for $1000 please.

Lots of bells and whistles go off.

Alex: Looks like you've hit the daily double! And this one is a picture...



Mirth (looking closely): Hmmm...what did my dog eat last night and then throw up at 5:30 this morning?

Alex: Great job Mirth! You got it! Looks like we've got a sweep this round. Stay close, we'll be right back with even more great categories!
(turning to Mirth) Is your dog really so dumb that she ate a bunch of rocks?

Mirth: Yeah Alex, she really is that dumb. Oh wait, was that supposed to be in the form of a question?

No new job yet

So I got my "Hey thanks for trying but we'd rather not" note from the company I did a phone interview with last Wednesday. It doesn't really surprise me. I suspect it might have been the long pause after one particular question that did me in. What question you ask?

Interviewer: What intrigued you about the position to be a claims representative?
Mirth: ...........?????

Call it my Jan Brewer moment if you will. I just couldn't wrap my mind around her using that particular word in that sentence. It's not that I didn't understand the meaning of the word or anything like that. It's just that there are very few reasons to use that word in a job interview, at least not in a question. It would be more appropriate to use the word when asking the interviewee to clarify something on their resume.

For example...

"Mirth, I see here that you used to work as a shoeless, bar tending, speed reader in a Texas brothel. That sounds intriguing, tell me more about that."

Honestly though, the question caught me totally off guard. I was prepared for a lot of questions, but throwing the word "intrigued" in relationship to a job as a phone representative is a bit unfair. Mister C hates when I refer to jobs like this as glorified phone sex, but I think it's fairly accurate.

So the answer to the question is really, nothing. There's nothing about your claims representative job that intrigued me. There's nothing intriguing about spending ten hours a day hooked up to a phone system handling customer complaints. I applied for this job because your company has great benefits and decent pay and I'm fairly sure that even my little pea brain could handle the job itself.

The most intriguing thing about this whole situation was trying to figure out what genius came up with the idea to use totally inappropriate words during the interview process in order to throw off the applicants. Intrigued indeed.

Vitatops

These are Vitatops...



I don't usually plug products on this blog, mostly because I think people should make their own decisions about what they eat or use in their daily life. But also because I'm not getting paid. Kidding. I wouldn't plug a product that sucked even if I got paid for doing so. But these are pretty good as far as health food goes.

Some back story...

On September 14th, I joined Weight Watchers. I have been struggling with excess weight for a few years now and doing nothing didn't seem to be helping it any so I decided to try something different. And that is "doing something". It's a concept.

The thing is, I absolutely refuse to eliminate entire food groups from my diet so most "diets" won't work for me. I can't eat carbs? Not gonna happen. Avoid all fat? Please, that's one of the five food groups (FYI, the other four are sugar, caffeine, chocolate and meat). So basically, I knew I needed to do something that would allow me to consume all of the five food groups and still lose weight. Which brought me to Weight Watcher's doorstep.

Using their point system, every food is assigned a number of points. Points are based on calories, fiber and fat. As you would imagine, higher calories or higher fat equates to higher points. Higher fiber means lower points. I have a set number of points I can use in any given day, plus an additional thirty five to use at my discretion over the week. All I need to do is stay within the total allotted points for the week and I'm good.

The important thing here is that they don't tell me how to use my points, that's entirely up to me. If I want to use all of my points for the day on a Starbucks coffee and a cheese danish, nobody will tell me I can't. They might raise an eyebrow and hope for my sake that I make a better choice, but they won't say the dreaded words "You can't have that!" Because I can. And because I can choose to have anything I want, I have found myself making better choices. Because knowing that I can have the cheesecake if I want to makes it less of a burning desire. I can choose to have a healthier breakfast and dinner if I know I'm going out to lunch with a friend. Mostly, I am making better decisions about what I put in my body because nobody is telling me what I can't. At some primitive level I am apparently a three year old who goes around saying "You're not the boss of me!"

Which brings me back to the Vitatops. These are basically low calorie, low fat, high fiber goodness that are only worth one point each. And they're not half bad. I only bought the two flavors in the picture because I wasn't sure if I was going to like them. But I really do. If I'm really craving chocolate, the double fudge takes the edge off. It's not as chewy or decadent as a brownie, but it seems to work. And because of the high fiber, I'm not starving fifteen minutes later. I tried the corn muffin a little bit ago and while it's not the same as real corn bread, it works. I will say I had to control the very strong urge to drown it in butter and/or honey but I made the right choice (for me) and abstained.

Oh, and as of two days ago, I've lost twelve pounds so "doing something" seems to be working for me.

Weak, starving tree hugger

Guess I haven't posted in a few days. That's probably because I'm weak from lack of food. Yeah, I'm watching what I eat. What of it? Sorry, I'm a bit out of sorts. Who knew a lack of bacon could do that to a girl?

I decided while on my trip to visit Ninny that I really need to start taking better care of myself. Not necessarily so I can look good, although that wouldn't bother me in the least, but because I'm finally realizing that not taking care of myself will eventually shorten my life. And I want to be around for a long time. Mostly so I can continue to harass and torture Mister C. But also because we just seem to die off too young in my family. So I started with the basics.

On Wednesday morning, I logged back onto my SparkPeople page and got to work. I've been documenting every time food crosses my lips. Just for the record, that's a lot of documenting. The nice thing with this method is if I'm feeling too lazy to go type in the food I'm thinking of eating, there's a pretty good chance I'm not going to eat it. I also reaffirmed my decision not to consume soda. The empty calories are bad enough, the insane desire for pizza as soon as I take the first sip is worse. And finally, my coffee absolutely sucks. No sugar. No milk. No creamer. No happiness.

As for the exercise portion of things, well that's a little bit harder. Because the treadmill is probably a full two feet from my side of the bed. Two feet! Normally I practically trip over it on my way to get my warm, sweet caffeine fix. Now, I have to force myself to actually get on it.

So on Wednesday, I did twenty minutes of walking. Yesterday I opted to go pull weeds for fifteen minutes and then do some strength training for my flabby upper body. Today, I managed to walk at a decent pace for thirty seven minutes. Mostly this was due to the fact that a home improvement show started not long after I got on that I wanted to finish watching. Because I was in shock. Apparently on this particular show, three different renovations are evaluated and compared for which family got the most for their money. That's not the shocking part. The shocking part is that each of these people spent $100,000 on a basement renovation. What the hell? That's almost three times as much as I spent on my first house! I mean, I've sold houses recently that cost less than that. For the entire house. And the land it's sitting on. And they were livable as they were. Long story short, I think I'm in the wrong line of work and I'll be tuning in tomorrow.

One more thing is part of my change towards a healthier me, I'm going to try a produce co-op. It's not one where I have to sign up for a year or commit to a lifelong willingness to hug trees. I just have to order and pay for a basket of fresh produce on Tuesday and then pick it up on Saturday morning. I have no say in what I get, I just know it will be six fruits and six vegetables that are currently in season. At $15 it seemed like a good deal but I'll know for sure tomorrow when I pick it up. If it sucks, it's not a huge loss. If it's awesome, I got a great deal. I'll take a picture of my basket after I get it home tomorrow. Part of what's interesting to me about this is that I'm pretty confident we'll be trying some new foods around here. I'm also pretty sure I'll have to start looking up new recipes to figure out what to do with some of it. Either way, by this time tomorrow I'll know if I'm going to do it again next week.

So, lack of food, crappy coffee, forcing myself to exercise and possibly turning into a tree hugger. Yeah, that about wraps it up.