Chaos Unleashed (the canine version)

So this past weekend I had the enviable pleasure of hosting Lola, Miss Lee and Music Man's beloved miniature dachshund.  She arrived on Friday and stayed through Sunday evening. 

You all know my household is stuffed full of pets and you would think that adding an extra eleven pounds of fur wouldn't be that big of a shift in chaos.  Oh but you would be so wrong.  There's a lot of chaos packed in Lola's little body.

For example, here is Nora, our decently sized mutt being followed by Lola...

Nora has about a five to one size advantage over Lola.  Evidently she is not aware of this as she is terrified of Lola.  This is the closest Lola managed to get to Nora.  Usually what happened is that Nora would see her coming and get up and move away.  Several times she got cornered and would leap over whatever was around to avoid having Lola actually touch her.  This included toys, instruments and other animals. 

Izzy actually wanted to "play" with Lola but I stopped that in it's tracks.  Izzy likes to poke things into running so she can chase them down.  Her prey drive is just a tad bit developed for leisurely play dates with small, furry animals (including dachshunds apparently).  They did lay together nicely in the house, but outdoors all bets were off.  Lola seemed to realize this and would generally stick close to me when we were all outside together.

The cats however were a totally different game for Lola.  Oh my goodness the cats. 

The first thing that happened on Friday when Lola arrived is that Tiberius wanted to come see the new guest.  Ti is a very good host and greets everyone that comes through the front door.  He's very outgoing and very much a busybody.  So he was about five feet from the kennel when I opened the door.  Apparently in the short time that she was in the house prior to me opening the gate, Lola noted and locked on to the this new creature.  As soon as the door was open, she BURST! out of the kennel and straight for the cat.  Tiberius, he of the even temperament and generally lazy demeanor, didn't know what to do with this flying furball but instinct kicked in and he started to run.  Only, not really run.

I'm not sure if he was just confused, didn't really care or was really just too lazy to run full speed but he was more loping than running.  He went around the table, around the couch, into other rooms and back again.  The problem was that Lola could fit in all the places that are generally considered "safe" because our two dogs are too big to fit.  So Ti would come loping out from behind the couch looking slightly puzzled and right behind him would be Lola, looking absolutely ecstatic.  Around and around they went, Ti looking progressively more "what the hell?" and Lola grinning behind him, ears flying in the wind and tongue hanging out.  Eventually I was able to safely corral Lola and pick her up.  Tiberius stopped, looked at us with disgust and walked away.

But from that moment on, Lola's sole purpose in life was to find (and hopefully chase!) the cats.

The biggest issue is that Lola is still a baby, she just turned one, so her hunting skills are less than stellar.  Case in point:  here is Lola searching for the Antagonizer in Master J's messy room...

As you can see, the cat is about two feet away, in plain sight, but Lola can't seem to find her.  It took her a solid three minutes to figure out where the cat was.  And then this happened...

Even closer...

I gotta give the Antagonizer credit for putting up with this invasion of personal space and not panicking.  As obnoxious as she generally is, she's very good natured for the most part.

As for Finnegan,

well let's just say he spent his time praying that Lola wouldn't notice him.

Back to Her Roots

Mister C and I purchased a half a cow from a local rancher at the end of last month.  We're really trying to eat better, healthier food and since removing beef from the menu isn't going to happen, we figured that free range cattle is the next best thing.  No hormones, no antibiotics and no gmo grain in our food has to be an improvement.  We ordered it in March and our beef was ready to be picked up last Friday.  One of the bonuses of getting beef through this particular ranch is that they also have on hand a bunch of beef bones that they will give you if you ask.  Some people use them for soup and such, some people get them for their dogs.  We picked up a few to give to the girls.  Fast forward to this morning.

I was still sleeping when I heard a fight break out in the back yard.  By the time I rolled out and headed towards it, the ruckus was ended.  So I stopped at the coffee pot before heading out to the patio.  When I got there, Mister C was sitting in his chair drinking his coffee, Nora was pacing around with a bone in her mouth and Izzy was in the grass with hers.  Apparently the ruckus was because Nora decided it wasn't good enough to have the bone she had been given, she wanted Izzy's as well.  And that didn't go over real well.  What ended up happening was that Nora got Izzy's bone, which was about half the size of hers, and Izzy got the bigger bone.  So yeah, good planning there Nora.  Further, she didn't really seem to know what to do with the bone she had.  So she paced.

She walked around with the bone in her mouth, looking at Izzy, looking at us, pacing some more.  She wouldn't lay down and chew it, she just paced.  Eventually she disappeared around the side of the house where, we assumed, she was chewing the bone in peace, out of sight of Izzy.  Turns out she was actually burying it in Master J's sandbox.  Yet another good plan Nora.  Mister C dug it up, washed it off and put it back in the fridge.  Evidently Nora is way too domesticated to figure out to eat the meal that's currently available.

But Izzy, oh Izzy, you insane little feral beast.  Izzy gnawed the hell out of that bone.  Now keeping in mind that this bone is actually some kind of large joint from a cow, it was almost as big as her head.  But that did not stop her nor slow her down in the least.  We sat watching in disbelief as that little dog tore that bone up.  It was like watching a wild African dog in action.  National Geographic in our own back yard.  She gnawed.  She chewed.  She ripped off chunks.  She never used her paws, just her jaws.  And she ate the whole damn thing.  In under thirty minutes.  And when I say "she ate it" I mean there was not one scrap left of that bone.  And then she went looking for the one she knew Nora had buried.  Obviously this is a dog that can fend for herself if need be.  One that would survive the zombie apocalypse with us.

I would say she made us proud.  I would, but then I sat there and thought about the fact that my dog just reverted back to her wild ancestors and ate a large cow bone without much trouble.  And I started thinking that maybe I should be extra careful not to become maimed within range of her.  At least not unless I have a weapon close at hand.  My suspicion is that she might conveniently "forget" where the majority of her meals have come from recently.

The Flockers are Growing

Either Peaches or Cream. I can't tell them apart unless they are standing next to each other.



Red



Rocky in the foreground, Leia behind.



I believe this is Leia.



I just like their little tail feathers

No, he is not actually sorry

Never a dull moment

Antagonizer: Just reach in and grab it! I'm watching for the human.
Hooligan: I don't think I can get it out, it's latched on to the water bottle
Antagonizer: Really? It can't be that hard. I have the hard job. I have to keep watch. Just reach in!
Hooligan: I'm trying!



Antagonizer: Uh oh! Quick! Look innocent!




Antagonizer: Lovely day, isn't it?
Hooligan: Dude! Wait, what?

Brooding Behavior

I've mentioned before that I have a big fish tank that I most recently populated with cichlids. They are quite entertaining to watch and so far (knock, knock) have been pretty peaceful. I don't really care for the way the biggest one launches out of the tank in the morning for his food, but I'm getting better about timing it so I don't get splashed. As much.

About a month ago, I noticed that my "electric yellow" female was hanging out under one of the big rock formations all the time. She and the male had taken most of the gravel out from under the big rocks and spit them out in big piles. Very much breeding behavior. But I hadn't seen any results. I thought for sure I would see some eggs or something hanging around. But no. Just the female laying under the rocks and the male occasionally chasing off some interloper.

About three weeks ago, I saw a little cichlid swimming around behind the rocks. How cool is that? He was about 1/2 an inch long and had blue stripes all over his body. He mostly stuck around the rocks and his big, bad Mama. And he has grown every time I see him.

About a week and a half ago, I was looking for my "baby" and I saw an even smaller baby hiding under the aerator. He was about 1/4 of an inch long and he was also covered in blue stripes. Weird coloring for the offspring of an electric yellow female but I guess I really don't know what they're supposed to look like anyway so who am I to judge?

This whole time, the female was still hanging out under the rock. I keep wondering if she's just really anti-social (for a fish) or what. I started wondering if maybe she was being bullied. So I started throwing a little bit of food directly in front of her hideout. She's pretty much ignored it. But she must have gotten hungry. Because yesterday afternoon, I went to feed the beasts and threw some sinking pellets directly in front of the rock she was under and she came charging out. I'm thinking to myself "finally! she's finally got hungry enough to brave the tank." She circled the pellets for a few seconds, went to the nearest plant, and spit out a mouthful of babies into it. Then she spun around and started eating the pellets. And she did not stop. She ate everything that fell in front of her. Then she went over to the main feeding area and started eating everything over there. I think she was starving from holding her babies in her mouth for who knows how long. Her babies meanwhile, hovered in the plant watching the direction she had gone. She eventually ate enough and went back over to the plant. I assume she went to go collect her babies but she got nerved up with my big face pressed up against the glass watching her every move. She would look at the plant, look at me, back up, look at the plant...eventually I gave up and went away. I really wanted to see the babies jump back in her mouth though. And I totally get the whole "spit out the kids and go take care of yourself" thing too.

Everybody loves Sweet Peas!

Mamoo's friend Sha has a green thumb and grows the most amazing flowers in general. But her sweet peas are just gorgeous and so fragrant it should be criminal. I was the lucky recipient of a bouquet of them the other day and have been enjoying them ever since.



Today the Antagonizer found them. My enjoyment may be coming to an end.

Ow

Mister C and I stayed up way too late last night playing Rock Band. I was the drummer and my arms are killing me today. I could barely lift them this morning when I got up. The worst part was trying to avoid the animals. ADHD Girl spent several minutes attempting to catch the drumsticks. Not to be outdone, the Antagonizer spent most of her time attacking either the cord or my left hand. In addition to Rock Band, we did some boxing. Mister C beat me the first time. Barely. I maintain that the only reason he was able to do so was because the ever helpful Antagonizer was hanging from the hem of my jeans. Her lard butt was laying between my feet, her front feet wrapped around my leg and her teeth imbedded in my pantleg. It made it just a touch difficult to box properly, but I gave it a good shot. Considering the unfairness of the match, I made Mister C do a rematch and cleaned his clock. He seemed shocked by my aggressive insistence on winning. He shouldn't have been. We've been together for over 14 years and married for over 11, he should know by now that I don't like to lose. I am probably way too competitive for my own good. Sometimes the only reason I accomplish something is because I just refuse to give up. This was the case when I had the "opportunity" to climb a rock wall at a friend's wedding (most awesome wedding ever btw) and also on several of the lesser mountains nearby. Anyway, the main point here is that during the trouncing of my husband I think I pushed myself a teensy bit too far. I've been gimping around here all day today. Our afternoon walk did help to loosen things up a bit, but it did absolutely nothing for my arms, which feel like noodles. Really painful noodles. If noodles could hurt.

Life going on..

Apparently, I've been very busy the past five days. Too busy to blog anything. Very busy indeed. Doing what? Ummm, I'm fairly sure I've made my bed a few times. I might have emptied the dishwasher once. There was coffee, walks, buying a fish...well, I'm sure there's more I accomplished. I just don't remember everything. I did manage to empty three more boxes and locate the bolts for Master J's bunk bed so I can sell it. That was a huge thing. I was starting to think I had lost those bolts and was going to have to go through all the packing paper that I had boxed up to find them. Turns out I'm just an idiot (again) and had set the bolts on top of a box. Which I then put another box on top of. I did search through the boxes but when I went to look through the bottom box, I lifted the top box and the lid to the bottom box at the same time. So I didn't see the bolts on the lid of the bottom box. Today I took the time to remove the top box and there they were. I also sold my moving boxes today as well. Half of them got picked up a few minutes ago and the other half will get picked up tomorrow when the guy's brother can lend him a pick up truck. I'm trying to get a few more things out there yet today so I can clear out some room and bring in some cash. My hope is that I can earn enough money to buy myself a bookshelf. Turns out that it's hard to get decent ones for not a lot of money. I've been searching. Anything under $150 is either made of press board or pre-dates the Hair bands of the 90s. All I want is a very specific size, solid wood bookshelf that will not look out of place in the same area as my dining room set. You'd think I was looking for a left kidney made out of gold. Ah well, I'll keep selling stuff until the amount of money I have matches the amount of money I need to get what I want.
In other news, I mentioned above how I bought a fish. Since I went to cichlids in my big tank, there was no way to put a betta in there. Since I've had a betta (or 2, or 75) for the last eight years, I just figured I'd get one and put it in it's own tank. So I went shopping and found a giant betta. These guys are pretty recent to the wholesale market (they've been available from breeders for a few years now). Anyway, I found a cool one and he's now sitting on the table. And guess who's sitting next to him to keep him company?

Yeah, she's very helpful that way!

I also finally spoke with a friend of mine that I've known for about 17 years. Turns out I should have called sooner, that way I could have gotten the bad news a little bit at a time instead of all at once.

First, her husband lost his job and is struggling to find a new one in this down market.

Second, they had to put her dog to sleep because he had gotten so sick recently.

And third, her thyroid cancer is back. She already had the surgery to remove the nodules on Halloween. Unfortunately that was the easy part. The hard part is coming up in January. It seems that in order for the radiation treatment to work, she has to go off her thyroid medication for at least a week. This gets all of the medicine out of her system and allows the radiation to work. But this is a miserable task. When she went through this before, all of her friends signed on to help out on different days just to try and help her though. We would bring her food and make her eat at least a little. We would take her for a walk as far as she could go (maybe a quarter mile, round trip, on a good day) just to get her moving. We would sit with her and talk and listen and know that whatever we had going on in our lives was nothing compared to what she was going through. Your thyroid affects so much that we don't even think about. When you get totally depleted like she's going to have to do, you aren't hungry but you want to eat. You're restless and exhausted but you don't have energy to move and you can't sleep either. You just float along and everything you should do, you can't. And it is miserable. And I wouldn't wish it on anyone. And this time, I can't even be there physically to help her out because I'm 1500 miles away. So I'll do the only thing I can do, I'll ask the God of my understanding to take care of her. And I'll send her cards while she's going through it that she won't appreciate until after she's gone through it and recovered. I'll call her and most likely talk with her husband about how she's doing. And I'll pray some more. Because that's what she'd do for me.

Finally!

We're here! We made it to Sunshineville Sunday afternoon. It's sunny. And blessedly warm. MMMMMMM, warm sunshine! I ended up taking The Antagonizer into my car fairly early in the day since she was driving Mister C insane with her incessant meowing. Around 8:15 in the morning, he suddenly pulled off the highway and into a field. I followed and once we were both there, he jumped out and announced that he thought the cat had to go to the bathroom because she wouldn't stop yowling. Mister C wanted to just put the litter box on the ground and put the cat in it so she could go. I pointed out that that was probably the dumbest thing I'd ever heard of. Put the cat down in an open field, by a major highway, in the middle of nowhere and hope she doesn't just take off in a panic? Ummm, no. So I decided to take the dogs out of my car, put the cat box in the back seat (I have drop clothes to protect the seats) and put the cat in there to see if she'll use it. Well, everything went fine right up to the part where she's supposed to use the box. She doesn't want to. Instead, she goes from window to window meowing at us. Which was pretty funny to us because all we could see was her mouth moving, but no sound coming out. Tee hee! Then I laughingly told Mister C to "check it out, she's going to drive off!" because she was in the driver's seat. Ha ha. But suddenly, the windows started going down. WTF? Oh my! The cat is stepping on the buttons and making the windows go down! I had left the car running with the a/c on so that Harry wouldn't get overheated but now the cat was pushing buttons. I ran around to the driver's side and shooed her back into the back seat where she climbed up into the back window and meowed some more at us. I'm not thinking the cat has to use the bathroom so much as she's just being ornery about riding in the car. So we put everyone back in their proper vehicles and start back on our way. We got to the next gas stop about 20 minutes later and Mister C informed me that he couldn't take her yowling any more so I offered to take her in my car. Now, I was a little worried about this because up to this point, my car had been pretty peaceful. Nobody was yowling or whining or complaining or talking at me. I could just go along, listening to my music and generally zoning out. Either way, Mister C was obviously stressed and I'm sure it was starting to affect Master J's behavior as well so I took The Antagonizer and strapped her kennel into the front street. Where she proceeded to meow loudly as we drove out of the station. I grabbed a tissue and sort of waved it near her kennel and she immediately responded with a "MMMROOWW!" and then dragged it into her kennel. Then she lay down and promptly fell asleep for the rest of the day. She pretty much only stirred when we stopped for gas and even then, she was quiet. Guess we all need some sort of comfort item when we're stressed!

Halfway there.

We left Nebraska this morning on the first leg of our trip to Sunshineville, where we are moving. Mister C had his truck loaded up with a whole bunch of computer stuff, plus both cats & Master J. My trunk was loaded to the top and I also had the two dogs and the guinea pig, Harry. The dogs were in the back seat and Harry was riding shotgun and serving as my co-pilot. Until he ate my atlas. And then dragged the remains of it over himself to use as his hideout. Yeah, as far as co-pilots go, he pretty much sucked. Maybe he'll do better tomorrow.

The dogs did pretty well. This morning while we were loading the cars, they were both pretty panicky, most likely worried they were going to be left. Once in the car, The Intellectual couldn't relax and kept pacing from one window to the the other. I'm sure she was wondering if we were going to the vet or the kennel or some other such place. ADHD Girl, on the other hand, passed out as soon as she was physically in the car. I guess she figured she was going and that was good enough for her. This only became a problem when The Intellectual decided she wanted to see out the window that ADHD Girl was laying by. She walked across the top of ADHD Girl and jammed herself in the tiny space between her and the door. Then, to add insult to injury, she actually sat on ADHD Girl's shoulder and rested her chin on the window sill with her nose pressed up against the glass. She fell asleep like this. ADHD Girl never opened her eyes.

We are currently sitting in a hotel in Raton, NM after driving for 12 hours today. We spent an additional hour driving around trying to figure out how to get to our hotel, which we could see from the highway. We drove down side streets and got back on the highway several times. At one point Mister C called me to tell me that he was going to drive across the grass median on the highway so he could turn around. And then he stopped. On the highway. Directly in front of me. Just, slammed on his brakes and stopped. Both dogs flew forward off the back seat where they had been sleeping and hit the floor. Everything from the front passenger seat flew into Harry's bin. My back twisted royally and I almost hit my face on the steering wheel. Then, Mister C announced that he wasn't going to cross there after all and drove off like nothing had happened. It's probably a really good thing we're in separate cars.

Silver lining?

Two nights ago, the Intellectual was acting weird before bed so we put her into the bathroom thinking maybe she wasn't feeling all that well. The logic here being that if she threw up, it would be on tile. Not that this makes it any more pleasant to clean, just that it doesn't entail me using the carpet cleaner and I'm all about the easier clean up. Not long after putting her in the bathroom, I checked on her to find that she was indeed not feeling well. Only it wasn't coming out her mouth, if you know what I mean. Now, Mister C has the wussiest stomach ever when it comes to bodily functions. Some people could be said to have a "stomach of steel". He would not. His might be described as a stomach of jell-0, on a small boat, in stormy seas. At the first sign of anything nausea inducing, he bails. And let's face it, kids and pets can be pretty nausea inducing. In this instance, he has a sudden need to go produce some very important report on his computer. Whatever. I clean up the mess. All is right with the world. Now, assuming that the dog has gotten whatever it is out of her system, we leave her loose and go to bed. First thing yesterday morning though, we wake up to the smell of dread. The dog has continued to use my bathroom as her bathroom. The interesting thing is that she wasn't locked in there at the time so either she's figured out that's the place to go or I didn't clean up as well as I thought. Of course, my husband immediately needs to go downstairs and start his day. Again, whatever. I clean up the mess, head to the shower and go about my day. Last night we got smart and kenneled the Intellectual so we wouldn't have a repeat performance. This morning, we wake up again to the overpowering smell that is sick dog. The first thing I think is that she's messed in her kennel, but as I'm walking towards it, out of the corner of my eye I can see that there is (again) a mess in the bathroom. WTF? I flip on the bathroom floor and announce to Mister C "We kenneled the wrong dog, it was ADHD Girl that was messing." I'll let that sink in for a second. Because if we scan back to the beginning of this post, we will note that the first time this happened, the Intellectual was alone in the bathroom. So unless ADHD Girl figured out how to open the door, crap on the floor and then quietly close the door as she leaves, she couldn't have been involved in the first incident. But give me some slack, it was 5:30 in the morning after going to bed at midnight and I hadn't had one sip of coffee. Anyway, upon hearing the news, Mister C suddenly offered to make coffee for me and I (again) cleaned up. But there is a silver lining, because all three times has been on the tile. It's like they know! Perhaps my reaction after the last incident, where it was NOT on tile and my brains came out of my nostrils, made some sort of impression on them. Either way, tonight, everyone is getting kenneled.