Saturday, February 13, 2010

Best Birth Control Ever

Have you ever seen some teenager carrying around a "baby" for their health class? You know the ones I'm talking about, they're supposed to give teenagers a taste of what having a baby is like. They cry and have to be "fed" every two hours. They weigh about ten pounds to give the kids a feel for what it's like to have to lug it around all day. They get to keep the doll for several days and it's supposed to guide them towards not getting pregnant until they are "ready for the responsibility". Whatever the hell that means.

What a waste of time. First of all, nobody is ever really ready for a child, I don't care how much you prepare. But to prevent teenage pregnancy? If you truly want to stem the tide, it's not having an infant that's so difficult. They eat, they sleep, they need their diapers changed. Sure it's tiring, but really, it's a cake walk comparatively speaking.

No, give the teenagers a taste of the future. Let them have an older child, any age would probably do. A fussy two year suffering through a cold. A four year old that missed his nap at preschool. A seven year old acting out at the mall. But don't just give them the child, let the child do something grand. Blue paint on the new white carpet anyone? How about painting the kitchen cabinets in primary colored finger paint? Or, how about the never ending issues with overflowing toilets? That's always a fun one. Because nothing sucks the fun out of sex like the possibility that it could end in cleaning raw sewage off the tile.

Fake baby indeed. Pshaw!


DJ said...

Just found your blog; I'm putting you in faves. Love the Jedi Knight on the phone story!

Christine said...

I say a child with autism in the middle of a meltdown. People don't think that the baby crying is pretty much the easy part. I think they need to understand long-term sleep deprivation to really get it.