Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Calgon, Take Me Away!

Remember those old Calgon commercials? Where the woman of the house was being surrounded by screaming kids, ringing doorbells, barking dogs and other chaos? She would look pleadingly up at the sky and utter the phrase contained in the title of this post. The next scene would show her sinking into a large tub filled with bubbles, but more importantly, she's alone. Remember that? I wish I could do that.

My day started with phone call from a client. This client had an accepted offer on a bank owned property that I worked my backside off to get. More so because the property wasn't actually listed yet. The listing agent was going to list it for $245,000. After several times back and forth, we had an accepted offer of $190,000. And that phone call this morning? Was to tell me that after all of the negotiations and the bank coming down substantially from what they believed it was worth, my clients decided not to go through with the deal. Seriously?

I had a dental appointment not long after that phone call. I truly dislike the dentist. I mean, I like my dentist as a person, and everyone of his office staff is fantastic. But I truly dislike dentists in general. I have sensitive teeth and inevitably something hurts. They are really good about not using that supersonic crazy cleaner that really drives me insane, but I never leave without flinching. Today was no exception.

After my dental appointment, I stopped off for lunch with Mamoo. Right about the time I finished my last bite I got a phone call from Scott asking me to call a client that wanted to see a house. I call, thinking I can show them the property in an hour or so. No, they are sitting in front of the house and want to see to see it "right now". Well, the property is forty five minutes away from where I'm at so I suggest they go get a cup of coffee because it's going to be a little while. I throw on a different shirt, give my hair a lick and a promise and head out the door. I get there and they are not there. They arrive fifteen minutes later.

They're a very nice older couple looking for a winter get-a-way from their home in Denver. The house they want to see is in a somewhat seedy part of this little town. They picked it because it had a nice fireplace in the pictures. And only cost $30,000. They seemed a bit shocked with the bars on the windows. Needless to say they didn't put in an offer.

So I head back home, because now I have to pick up my boy from school. I get there with enough time to sit in front of the school for about twenty minutes with a book. It is the most peaceful time I will have all day.

I got back home and started cleaning my fish tank (again). I got thirty gallons of disgusting water pulled out of the tank before the phone started ringing. The first call is from a lender on a property that has been in escrow since December 8th. Two months ago and we're still trying to get it through. It's not my buyer's issues, it's the bank and their underwriting department. And this phone call is just one of the dozens I have gotten from this lender, always asking for "just one more thing". At least this time, the lender was saying we finally got approval, we "just need a few more things". Most importantly, it's going to cost my client more money. The bank is demanding a mold inspection by a certified mold inspector. Another several hundred dollars is required. I got off the phone with the banker and call my client to give him the news. He's not thrilled, but he's a good guy and he just wants to get into his house so he agrees.

I call the banker back to let him know to go ahead and order the mold inspector. I want to follow up the call with an email, but I get side tracked by another client. A client that has already gotten fairly pissed off that the offer we have sent in has not yet been submitted to seller because the listing agents office is being super picky about what is being submitted. I tell this client that they still want "one more thing" and he explodes. Ex. Plodes. At me. Because I am on the other end of the phone. My attempt to keep this conversation directed to what we can do goes unheeded. He tells me he's going to call the other agent and "get it straightened out". I try to suggest that might not be such a great idea but he hangs up on me. Seriously? Who does that?

In a somewhat bad spot, I call my team leader, Scott and ask him how much trouble I'm going to be in with our broker. He laughs and says "Welcome to real estate. Get used to it." He also assures me that our broker will back me up unless I do something unethical which I have not so I'm fine. When I hang up with him I call my client back. He apologizes for yelling at me but says he's done dealing with this house. He still wants to work with me though. I thank him for that, but inside I sigh deeply and layer on some skin thickener. I'm going to need it. I finally hang up the phone at 5:55 pm.

As soon as I hang up, I start making food for Master J. Mister C comes home and starts wondering where his dinner is. I haven't had a chance to think about that yet. Thankfully I had shrimp thawed out already. A quick saute with garlic and some angel hair pasta and fifteen minutes later we have a decent, healthy meal.

My phone rings again. I look down and it's my client again. What else can he yell about? I answer with a smile, as I usually do. He sounds humble and says that his wife wants the house. He'll get me the paperwork I need tomorrow.

I think I feel a tic coming on.