Sunday, April 11, 2010

Today is not my birthday.

But I did have a party. My fortieth birthday is actually next Saturday but not everyone was going to be in town so Mister C decided to have a party for me today. It wasn't anything fancy, just my family coming over for grilled burgers and cake but it was lovely (mostly).

Mister C and Master J put together a my favorite kind of cake for me, yellow cake with chocolate frosting. Mister C even made a double batch of the frosting because I told him that's the way I always do it. How cool is that? The only problem is that I forgot to get a picture of the cake before we cut it into pieces. That made me kind of sad when I thought about it later.

Mamoo and Papa brought over home made potato salad to go with the burgers. I love my mom's potato salad, especially when I don't have to make it. They also brought over hotdogs and bbq chips which is always appreciated.

Miss Lee and Music Man showed up as well and brought along a lovely card espousing how much they respect me and think I'm the most wonderful sister slash sister in law in the world. Or at least that's what I'm telling myself. In reality, it might have been a crack about old age, but that just sounds bad and this is a happy blog.

Oh, and Master J lost his ever loving mind. Let's back up a bit and reiterate a few things about Master J that might indicate why he would lose his ever loving mind.

First, he has ADHD and groups of people (more than three) create too much stimuli and he tends to act out. Second, certain foods trigger certain behaviors. Third, certain foods help his behavior.

If you've been reading this blog for any length of time you know that we give Master J coffee on a daily basis. The caffeine helps with his ADHD in the same way that Ritalin does. Only without all the side effects and without making me feel like I'm drugging my kid to make my life easier. If you've been reading this blog for any length of time you also know that Master J requires protein on a regular schedule throughout the day to help keep him level. Additionally, he cannot have any large doses of sugar, especially without protein at the same time. And high fructose corn syrup is like meth to this kid, he literally cannot control his body when he has it. Got all that? Good.

This morning I got a text from a client wanting to see a few homes. My party isn't until four so I should have no problem taking care of them and finishing up before I need to be home. So before I get myself ready, I sit Master J down with some chicken, a few potato chips and a glass of milk. Lots of protein, a little bit of carbs and no hfcs. But I didn't give him coffee. I don't know why. I think I was in a hurry and he was pretty level at the time and it just got forgotten. I leave the house and he's in good shape. I'm gone for three hours.

When I return, Mister C and Master J are not home as they are evidently out shopping for the preparations for dinner. I take the time alone to submit an offer on behalf of my clients. The guys come home around two thirty with some groceries and a bit of chaos. Master J seems pretty hyped up but I figure it's because there's a party coming up and I don't think too much about it.

At about four, Master J informs me that he has not had lunch and in fact has not eaten anything since this morning when I fed him the chicken. I know we're eating in a few minutes so I tell him to go grab a banana, which he does. He also informs me at this point that he "helped" his dad with the frosting. He had several spoonfuls of chocolate frosting while "helping". And then Miss Lee and Music Man show up and Master J kicks it up a notch. About fifteen minutes later, my folks show up and Mister C starts cooking the burgers and hotdogs. Master J has still had no coffee.

By the time the food hits the table, Master J is in rare form. He is singing "grand entrance music" every time anyone walks into the room. It isn't long before he's singing "exit music" as well. This music is the exact opposite of the entrance music. It would be amusing and entertaining if it weren't happening every fifteen seconds.

We put a plate of food in front of Master J and the battle begins. He's too busy making noises and singing to really get the food in. Finally after what seems like forever, Mister C makes a cup of coffee for Master J, who fights and almost breaks down into tears at the thought of having to drink it. He finally gives in and drains the cup. Unfortunately it takes about twenty minutes to kick in. During which time he does manage to eat his food. He also manages to harass everyone that was still eating and to perseverate on when the cake was going to be consumed. It kills me to see him like this because while the one side of me just wants him to listen and follow directions, the other side of me realizes that he really can't control himself at this point.

Finally, the coffee kicks in and he calms down. It's like a switch gets flipped. One minute he's in hyper-drive, the next he's walking calmly through the room. It's weird that it works like this, but it does.

So, let's recap where we went wrong...we didn't give him coffee at breakfast and lunch like we normally do. We allowed him to go seven hours with no protein. Worse yet, we allowed him go seven hours with no food at all except for chocolate frosting. Then we added four extra people to his world and he went over the edge. It's unfortunate that I didn't take the time to plan out several meals for Master J as well as inform Mister C where those meals were and what time they should be served. And it's unfortunate that I didn't get coffee into his system before I left and when he returned from shopping as this would have most likely circumvented most of the behavior. It's mostly unfortunate that I spent a large part of my party getting after my son to try an get him to behave because that makes it not a very fun party for anyone.