One more day

I take my school exam tomorrow evening. I thought I was going to take it last Friday but evidently the world does not revolve around me and they didn't hold a seat for me. Guess I should have tried to get registered more than 48 hours in advance. Oh, well. I guess at least I've had the past four days to study instead of just going in cold. I hope I have a grip on this information. I think I do. But then, I also thought it would be "just a review" from my previous attempt and we see how well that's worked out. I did five chapters of the math this afternoon and only missed two problems so that wasn't too bad. I intend to read through some questions again tonight and then tomorrow morning as well. I'll head out to my exam around 4:00, stopping only long enough to pick up a kit-kat candy bar. That's only because I read some thing about the Japanese school kids doing it. It's supposed to be good luck. Something about the name. I have no idea. I just know if it's good enough for Japanese school children, it's good enough for me.

On another note, I picked up Master J from school today and he'd had a great day. His teacher came out smiling and relaxed looking and he was walking about 20 feet behind her talking with another little boy. She said he was great. I asked specifically about the morning and she said "Great! Actually, really good all day." So I told her that we had started the caffeine test. I also told her about the Mountain Dew debacle and she laughed. Because she knew. It probably helped that I did my impression of him with arms aflailin' and crazy "meth-head" actions. Yeah, no story of mine should be told within distance of breakables. I can't help it. I was raised on the east coast. Whatever the word is for "physical verbosity", I am. Anyway, the main point here being that day 3 of the caffeine test which was also day one of it at school, went pretty well. We'll keep tweaking it until we get it right or prove it doesn't work, whichever.

Also, totally as a side note, Mister C mentioned to his mom that we were doing this whole caffeine test and here is the conversation. I could hear his side, her side is per him:

Mister C: So, we're trying this thing with Master J where we are giving him caffeine and it really seems to calm him down.

Minion: What?!? You're giving him caffeine?!? That's not good for kids!!! I can't imagine how bad that is for him.

Mister C: Well, what would you suggest we do?

Minion: Give him Ritalin!

Mister C: Really? I shouldn't give him a natural substance with no real side effects because it's bad for him but I should give him some man made drug with known side effects? Really?

Minion: Caffeine is bad for kids.

Mister C: How's your hip doing?

Really?

The minion wants to befriend me on Facebook. This is completely Mister C's fault. He didn't want to take the time to attach pictures to an email and send it to her. So instead, he turned her on to Facebook. And now she wants to be my friend. And if we're not careful, it will only be a matter of time before she finds out about this blog and wants to be directed to it. And that will not end well. So if you're reading this and you know her, shhhhh. And if you're a friend of mine on Facebook and you want to reference this, don't put it on my wall. Let's all practice a new game called "Sit very still and don't make a sound until the monster gets out of earshot." It's a fun game, trust me. Let's see how long we can hide from the dragon. We'll still have fun, I promise. It's just that if she gets a whiff of our fun and happiness, she'll feel compelled to crush it in her overpoweringly controlling insanity. And then it won't be any fun for anyone. So, shhhhh!

My trip to DQ

The Minion wanted to go to DQ tonight to get a malt since we didn't have any ice cream in the house. I asked Mister C if he wanted to go with her since she didn't know where it was but he declined. So I volunteered. I even drove. See how nice I am? There was a line of cars at the drive-thru so we decided to just go inside. Okay, I need to back up a little bit here. Before we left, we asked the menfolk what they wanted and while Mister C answered with his typical request, his dad hemmed and hawed about what he wanted. He really wanted a banana split, but he was a little worried because sometimes they've made him one and the banana is overly ripe (ewww!) so he thought he would just get a sundae. Okay, back to DQ. So The Minion and I walk into the DQ, staffed by young male teenagers and she walks up to the counter and says (and I am SO not kidding!) "Can I see your bananas? I just want to see how firm they are." And I lost it. Kudos to the young man behind the counter because he didn't say a word, just turned around and got the bananas. She then proceeded to feel each one while saying "I'm just looking for the firmest one". Well I'm sorry, but there is no way I'm letting this go. I was dying. I told her I wasn't taking her out in public any more. I should have mentioned that I was taking her back to "The Home" after our little outing, but I couldn't stop laughing long enough to get it out. When the kid totaled everything up, I handed him money and she looks at me and says "You're paying?" and I told her "At this point, I just want to get out of here before you say anything else." All in all, this was probably the best visit I've ever had with her.

Lining up the shot glasses.

I'm preparing for a visit from my MIL. I struggle with this relationship. For the sake of my husband, I put up with her, although I doubt their relationship is really good for him either. I try to put aside my distrust and be pleasant and non-confrontational in my dealings with Satan's minion, but, alas, it is difficult. To say the least. She does not make it any easier. Without going too far into detail, I will just say that I (we) have been kicked out of her home on multiple occasions and I was always glad to go. She threatened to slap my child for a minor infraction when he was two (one of the few times I would have gladly disemboweled her). She screams long and loud when she doesn't get her way, then accuses those around her of being to blame for her behavior. She actively tries to cultivate dissension among her children, always trying to point out how great her (current) favorite is and how evil the other ones are. She plays the victim and acts as though she is terrified of offending her daughters in law, although she is the one who's attacks should be feared. She is controlling, manipulative, sneaky and downright insane. It is never her fault. It is always ours. Mostly mine I suspect. Unfortunately for her, I refuse to bow down to her insanity. I tend to call it like I see it and not let her bowl me over. The biggest problem is that while I will be pleasant and kind just like I would with pretty much anyone, I will not cultivate a relationship with her because I do not trust her. Mister C has trouble with this because if she and I aren't on the same page, then he feels like he's in the middle. I try really hard not to do that to him because I don't think it's fair to him, not that that stops the Minion from trying. Her children all have their own baggage that they've carried into adulthood. We all do, but whereas mine is a carry on, they all have steamer trunks. There will be hell to pay if she ever stumbles across my blog and realizes I've posted about her. Hahahahahahaha! Whew! Like she would ever recognize her own behavior for the insanity it is. Now, where did I put the sanity juice?